Made it to Nashville

Well we made it to Nashville around 7pm tonight. I ended driving the whole trip today which I didn't plan on, but did. I must say, the accents here are horrible. I really can't stand that but it is something that I will have to get used to I think. Got to see a lot of country that I have never seen. We had great roads all the way here in Nashville and we rolled along pretty good. No cops or anything so that's always nice. Have a great time with my dad and got to talk to him a lot and that was nice. Something we haven't done enough of. He is an amazing man and I'm so lucky and honored to have him as a father. I hope the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

 Earlier today it went so great. I was excited to get to my training and was feeling so good emotionally. After getting to Nashville or a little before, I started thinking about things and started getting pretty down again. I really thought that getting a ways away from home and people I love would make things easier but again, I was wrong. I'm going to stop now and go ahead and apologize for this post and probably the next few as they are going to be me just saying how sad I am and how much I want to be home. I know things will get easier and better once my training starts, but until then, it's going to be rough. I've decided that I'll use guitar as an escape from things and may even try my hand at song writing. The last few months have been so hard and I've learned that if I don't express my feelings I may lose what I love so I figure I need anything to get my mind off of all that.

I'm going to try and do a lot of hiking whenever I have daylight. Not only for fitness, but to try and be not sitting and thinking. The break from my internship till now I have had so much time to think, and the more I think, the worse I get. I am so sick of feeling down and out. I know talking about it probably isn't helping, but I have to say something, to someone, anyone. Sorry that my thoughts and feelings are coming out on here, but what else is a blog for? I am just so confused on my feelings lately and hopefully I catch a break soon.

But back to what I'm doing. We are staying in a hotel tonight in Nashville and then leaving in the morning. Only 4 hours of driving tomorrow so that's much better than the 12 I did today. I may have dad drive tomorrow though. I need to try and read my book for school. I hate reading and have been struggling to get that reading done. I'm looking forward to running down here in the south country. It's nice temperatures and I'm really excited to get more fit and strong. I'm sure none of you know this, but I have always been insecure on my looks. As a guy, I know we are always wanting to be strong and fit and I'm hoping that with this training, I get into the shape I want to be in. I plan on taking photos of my first day and my last day here. If I make good progress I may post them but again, I'm insecure about it so I may not, time will tell.

I know I will do well here though. I'm am one of the most competitive guys I know, and my whole goal here, is to make everyone else look like crap. I'm not going to be cocky or arrogant to anyone at my training center, but they should know, a Kansas farm boy is about to rock their world. If I'm not the most in shape, or the best shooter, or the best trainee, I will be very shortly. It may seem shallow or mean, but I love when I realize that I'm better than someone at things I enjoy. I feel such a joyous feeling of success that it makes me try even harder. Main things like this are dodgeball and snowboarding for me. Mainly I just like being good at things.

Sitting here watching Gold Rush with dad in the hotel. Getting some sleep tonight for our departure tomorrow. I look forward to taking pictures of my place and my area to show you all, if I can figure out how to post photos on here. They will be on my facebook too.

Till tomorrow,
Zach