I am machine.....

I have adapted to all surroundings and to all aspects of my life here. Today concluded our 20 hour lecture over the 4th amendment and I must say, it's time to take a breath. We have gone for 3, 8 hour days in a row in the same room, no windows, sitting up straight, no slouching. Only a week and a half more of the law and policies and then we start the really fun stuff. The stuff that will make me a force, beyond what I ever thought I could be. The tools necessary for me to take on whatever life throws at me, both mentally and physically. I am paranoid. We are paranoid. Constantly checking our surroundings, constantly knowing everything that is going on around us. Constantly being tested on our situational awareness. At any given moment we can be asked, "how many people were in the hall" or "what was the medic wearing". Constant. I can't look at anyone without assessing size, potential weapons, methods of escape, methods of take-down, methods of death. It is becoming sub-conscience. It is pretty awesome really. Not that I think I am some perfect being or some perfect person who can't be defeated, but we are taught to think that way. If we take away all of the enemies advantages, we will prevail.

Yesterday was our third Physical Training day. We ran 6.2 miles, up the biggest hills and steepest mountains. After doing research and listening to a friend on breathing, I know now what I'm capable of. Arms at my side and a constant, slow, breathing in.......and out. I didn't even sweat until mile 3. I don't talk, I don't look around, I don't do anything but put one foot in front of the other. People said I looked constipated, I laughed inside as they fell behind and struggled to keep up while gasping for air. I end the runs and don't remember where we went. I couldn't recreate the route if I tried. I ignore the pain in my ankle best I can, even though flashes of sharp, stinging pain rush through my brain. It feels like a group of thumbtacks in the bottom of my shoe. All I can do is ice it. Ice it and ignore. As we returned back towards the school, the stupid, Masters degree know it all girl, cuts me off to try and "impress?" I guess. Oh my, this, made me so mad. Tazer day will be oh so sweet. As cruel as that sounds. It will be funny seeing her get tazed.

I'm not sure if it's becoming routine, or if I am becoming a machine out here. I wake up, go to class and cram as much information as I can in 8 hours. Then come home and read till I can't think anymore. Then I work out till I can't lift my arms or even sit up. Then I shower and go to bed. I honestly feel amazing. Today I drank over 2 gallons of water. Yesterday over a gallon. Honestly I am looking forward to hopefully getting to get back to Manhattan in time for one last dodgeball go. People won't know what happened. It will be slaughter. Already my body is transformed. Molded by self-motivation and a drive and want to be better than everybody else. I hope to be in the 90th percentile of fitness by PEB #3 in April. There is also a fitness award  that I want, really bad. It'd be rad to grab that. Others are fit yes, but few can do every exercise well. I judge my progress by the veins in my arms. Every day they are more and more prominent and every day I feel better and better. I've learned that diet is a big part of how you "feel". I eat just enough to support my "lifestyle". It consists of mostly protein crap. Tuna sandwiches and fruit is my main consumed food. I've eaten fast food once or twice and only 1 pop in the 3 weeks of being here, only because I passed the first exam. I had to celebrate somehow.

This is basically a blog about how I feel good about myself I guess. Lame yes, stupid...yes.

I definitely feel myself changing. Somehow, I don't know how to put it in words, except that I am changing. Slowly but surely. Yay emo sentence. LOL JK

Still can't wait to come home!

More to come-

Zach